(no subject)
I'm not using this place anymore.
I'm sorry to my few friends here who've had the patience and kindness to stick it out with me through everything. You're wonderful people. Thank you, so much.
For a few years now this place has turned into nothing but a place for my most negative thoughts and life venting, where it use to be such a pleasant place and a social network of it's own.
Now it's just a little niche away from everything, and I didn't want it to be that way.
And I've said some regrettable things. I just need to move on. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry to Heather and my family, who deserve better out of me, who deserve my communication and understanding, instead of my guarded mentality and stubbornness.
I need to deal with my problems, work things out, or find something more productive, like art or exercise or anything besides bitching about things I can't change and things I don't like.
Every thing's gone. I don't even want to look at it, even the good stuff from long ago.
It actually kind of hurts because I'm not longer friends with a few people from those times.
Anyway...
I'll still use/come here to check on you guys because I worry about you all, and love you. Hang in there! You're all so strong and wonderful. Really. I love you guys.
Same with Dreamwidth. I'm done with trying to separate my real life from my life on the internet as well.
I'm just sorry I've been so depressed and negative about everything, and selfish. I should have come here more often to be supportive of you all and be there for you when you need someone to talk to, not just read up on your life and complain about my own.
I'm really fucking sorry.
I can't say that enough and I feel awful all around about everything.
I'm sorry to my few friends here who've had the patience and kindness to stick it out with me through everything. You're wonderful people. Thank you, so much.
For a few years now this place has turned into nothing but a place for my most negative thoughts and life venting, where it use to be such a pleasant place and a social network of it's own.
Now it's just a little niche away from everything, and I didn't want it to be that way.
And I've said some regrettable things. I just need to move on. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry to Heather and my family, who deserve better out of me, who deserve my communication and understanding, instead of my guarded mentality and stubbornness.
I need to deal with my problems, work things out, or find something more productive, like art or exercise or anything besides bitching about things I can't change and things I don't like.
Every thing's gone. I don't even want to look at it, even the good stuff from long ago.
It actually kind of hurts because I'm not longer friends with a few people from those times.
Anyway...
I'll still use/come here to check on you guys because I worry about you all, and love you. Hang in there! You're all so strong and wonderful. Really. I love you guys.
Same with Dreamwidth. I'm done with trying to separate my real life from my life on the internet as well.
I'm just sorry I've been so depressed and negative about everything, and selfish. I should have come here more often to be supportive of you all and be there for you when you need someone to talk to, not just read up on your life and complain about my own.
I'm really fucking sorry.
I can't say that enough and I feel awful all around about everything.